The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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