I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I deserve this hangover.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
