no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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