We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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