If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
