we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
