you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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