and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
why do cheetos always look like penises
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
