At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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