Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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