you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
