you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
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