i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
