It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
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Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
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Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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