I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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