WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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