I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
