6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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