Your dad touched me again.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
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