Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
