i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
