Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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