Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
We are two peas in an std pod
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He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
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Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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