She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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