i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
