Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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