Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I love black thongs
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
