I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I am one with the molecules
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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