I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize