Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
