I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
The Olympian is in my bed
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
