It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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