im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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