I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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