woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
We left the knife in your bed.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
