:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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