I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
