...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
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I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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