i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
so explain again why im purple
no
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
