id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
