So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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