She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
