the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
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