____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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