you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
