he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Randomize