??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
