So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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