haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
