He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize