i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
