i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
