i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
