I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
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