I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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