Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
