Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
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