If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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