She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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