Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
