You don't have asthma, your pregnant
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
