closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
