my phone needs a breathalizer
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
