Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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