Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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