Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Randomize
