did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
